1986

The issue is a spiritual matter – the question – Is the fetus considered life while in the womb?  Anyone knows its life, and anyone against God sees it scientifically.  What is it going to take to turn the heads of the government?  Numerous protesters, or conviction from their belief in God?  How are we going to help them to receive Christ?  Just like Jesus showed us.  (Not by might, not by power, but by My spirit. –Zech. 4:6).

1986

When facing an unplanned pregnancy, pain is inevitable.  Sort out and write down the emotional and practical pain and fear involved with your three choices so you can make a choice based on realistic facts.

What is the pain of keeping the child?

What is the pain of placing the child for adoption?

What is the pain of having an abortion?

9-1986

Abortion films – would you let your daughter watch something so horrible to convince her how wrong something is?  Did Jesus share with us His experience in Hell?  Did He spend His time converting people by exhorting love or the devil?  Did He scare them into salvation? 

Who are we dealing with?  Most likely dead people, trying to convince them of life.  I don’t think there are too many Christians who think any different from God’s word. 

We were dead, how did Jesus convince us of life?

How is a dead person going to believe in life?  By us and our ways or is Jesus going to do it through us?  How much faith do we have in order to believe that is what has to be done?  That we are standing in His way?  Or have we given up and given in by means of fleshly or worldly reasons of why what they are doing is wrong, teaching them in their language rather than Gods, whom we now belong?  Isn’t it sinful to teach and give in to fleshly methods?  Abortion is satanic, why spend time exhorting his works?  Does the Lord want us to (by pointing at our sinful nature)?  People who came to Jesus knew they were sinful and were ready to repent.

5-24-87 MY SHAME

I thought I was forgiven, according to my understanding of who God is, and what I believe my motives were of going through with the shame (my abortion).  I was selfish and lonely and scared.  I saw no alternative reason not to do it.  So I really didn’t know God for who He really is, therefore, I was not convicted of this sin like I should have been.  And deep down I was not at peace with myself, even before this shame, simply because I did not know God, yet this shame helped to specifically convict me as a sinner.  So what caused me to go on a mental trip of self-denial?  What made me think I was unforgiven?  It was when my idea of love was shattered.  I thought I met my match and it was taken away for reasons I couldn’t understand – due to lack of communication, because it was taken away.  I felt rejected by God, which caused me to look again at my shame to see it as He saw it, although I was still forgiven.  It caused me to know Him as He really is, and would give me the peace of mind I was always searching for, where if this shattering never happened, I may have never known Him like I should, and who knows what would have happened with that relationship.  It would not have been centered on Christ for who He really is and I could have fallen into unbearable deeper sin.  Maybe that’s why God stopped it, He foresees things and does not allow anything to happen that we can’t bear.

7-18-87 REPENTANCE

I am to acknowledge my sin and be sorry for doing it, and as result, change.  Change my sinful life patterns and be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus in order to overcome this sinful nature.  He is the only way, and that is something to be thankful for because my desire is to be good, yet I fell into hopelessness and despair of my inability to be as good and loving as I hoped for.  Thanks to the mercy and loving kindness and grace of God this good new way of life is possible.  It can become my reality.

So I acknowledge a certain deep sin of mine and I break down from the horror of ever doing such a thing.  Yet what is my motive?  I am not to get upset in such a way that I should be ashamed for behaving in such a way when God did not expect any better from me since He was not Lord of my life – I had no power to stop myself.  So I am not to get upset with a wounded pride attitude, as if my fallen nature in and of itself could be Godly.  I was in need of being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit by becoming righteous in Christ.

Yet I still did what I did and it affected my deeply.  Am I supposed to forget about it like it never happened?  Your forgiveness is that great God, but in reality, this has deeply affected me.  How does that go away?  I can’t pretend I never did it, although I understand my innocence in Your eyes for doing it.  I am forgiven but it still happened, the sin still exists although forgiven.  How do I carry on with life normally?  Do I really believe I am forgiven Lord?  Will this sin be “ever before me?”  I am forgiven, so I no longer have to feel that I am condemned or that it keeps me separate from You, I am free in that respect.  Now for the total cleansing of being free from the affect, is this cleansing a question between feelings vs. faith?  Will You give me understanding about this Lord?  For Your name sake, according to Your will.  Let me know You for who Your are, in Jesus’ name.  Amen.

7-23-88

Open Arms Pamphlet – “In every abortion healing we must, at some point, come face to face with the reality that this was a child we aborted, a real person whose life was taken from them.” 

This is not the source of our guilt, or what we are repenting of.  This is only the effect.  The Lord wants us to understand the cause – our nature.  Any particular sin will drive us to guilt only to drive us to search for peace which comes from understanding our nature – that our sinning is natural, from being separated from God.  But in a particular sin we may have finally drawn the last straw where we are convicted of what we have done is wrong.  So by understanding our nature, we will then have a choice to make – to repent, to realize what we are doing is wrong in God’s sight and to then have the desire to change, only after learning His provision for change through Jesus Christ; or we can deny what God did for us, and why He had to (because of our mistake) and stay separate from God, living in sin, under the law, or arrogantly denying the law (because of not understanding it). God is sorrowful that we took another’s life, but He has a place for them in heaven.  But why bother creating life if it’s not welcome?  If we have no respect for life?  What are we here for?  What is our purpose?

8-1, 3, 7-1988

Did Jesus come to reveal sin or the grace of God?  Did He walk around judging people for their sins or did He reveal the love and grace of God to sinners which lead them to repentance?  Why does it seem that becoming a Christian means you can do everything the world can do only better because you have Christ on your side?  Take the issue of abortion for example.  How are we to make a spiritual difference in resolving this matter?

A non-Christian can protest and see its form in the womb.  What spiritual significance is there in showing photos of an aborted fetus?  Is that a fear tactic to prove to people it is real?  But does that prove to them that it is formed by God?  What are we trying to reveal to people with these photos?  The reality of their beliefs, which in God’s eyes is sin?

Does the Lord want us to reveal the reality of sin or the reality of His kingdom (grace) which then will lead us to repentance?  Because once we understand God’s love for us, that He forgives us, we no longer have a reason to fear we are sinners and confess them to Him, since He has taken away His need to punish.  When we believe in God’s kingdom, how can we deny the reality of sin?  So what good is it to reveal to spiritually blind people their sins?  People usually react to judgment, and defend themselves as best they think they can.  But by receiving a revelation of God’s love for us, they can only respond and repent.  These photos are as distasteful as how the Lord allowed us to see Him when He was on the cross.  Yet His purpose was not to let Himself be seen in such a way.  His purpose was to reveal God, not what man has done because of their ignorance of God.  That was our doing. 

To non-believers, they rejoice in this sight.  After all, they are the ones who put Him there and tortured Him.  They saw Christ as a threat, and wanted to display to people the victory they thought they had over this “troublemaker.”

To religious believers, they mourn at this sight.  They wanted to defend Him from having to be put through such humiliation and shame.  After all, He was an innocent man; He did nothing to deserve this.  He was God, He was perfect, He was sinless.  Surely He did not deserve this treatment.

To the spirit filled believers, they humble themselves at this sight.  They understand that Christ has won a war, not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual powers.  They understand why He had to go through such humiliation and die.  They understand that the non-believers were only acting naturally due to their hatred and/or ignorance of God.  They understand that the religious believers were only acting naturally due to their ignorance of the spiritual kingdom.

And what about protesting?  Are they protesting against sin, wanting to demolish sin so this world will be a better place, or, are they defending an innocent life?  In the name of God are you saying for the unborn “I am a human being, I have a right to live?”  Aren’t we declaring that truth according to our faith in God?  In God’s eye’s, it is life, therefore, abortion is murder.  But what if the mother does not believe in God? 

A woman will claim to have a right to do what she wants to her body.   She can believe the embryo is considered tissue or whatever she desires to believe it to be at whatever stage.  Therefore, in the eyes of the world, she is considered innocent. 

So what is the problem?  Making abortion illegal or convincing people to have faith in God?  How are we revealing the spiritual reality of God’s kingdom to these people by making abortion illegal?  Aren’t we spiritually aborting these people by forcing them to do something against their will?  By misrepresenting God who designed for us to have a free will to choose life or death?  Is it our responsibility to save bodies or souls, or both?  Jesus was murdered, which was part of God’s plan, yet God had no problem raising Him from the dead.

By making abortion illegal, the baby will be born (in sin) and the mother will still be in the same state as if she didn’t have an abortion – a sinner unsaved.  So what have we done?  We have prevented the adversary from killing God’s creation.  The apple of His eye.  God has created us for a reason, in His image to declare His praise.  It’s Satan’s profession to murder, so it should not surprise us that this is happening.  What should surprise us is why the mothers are submitting themselves to him and not to God.  Do they really believe in the reality of heaven and hell?  By killing and rejecting God’s work, they are saying “we are ignorant of God as our creator, so we have no respect for Him, we see no hope for life, and we see no purpose for the creation of life.”

  By defending the unborn, is that the same way Peter tried to defend the Lord, by attacking the people who attempted to kill Jesus?  Yet God had the power to stop Satan from killing Jesus.  Doesn’t He have the power to stop Satan from killing the unborn?  How?  This is not a carnal war but a spiritual war.  We want to lay down our life knowing that it is our spiritual life we want to live by.  We have nothing to fear from losing our fleshly bodies.  Could these babies be martyrs?   Should we be upset for the baby who has gone to heaven or for the mother who is ignorant of God, destined for hell until she is saved?  So by making abortion illegal, the baby’s physical life is guaranteed, but not their spiritual eternal life.  By defending them, we are saying “There Satan, you have no control to kill off God’s offspring physically.”

 Isn’t abortion the effect?  Isn’t God concerned with the cause also?  Why should we defend our bodies and be so concerned about them, isn’t it our spiritual state we should be concerned about? Anyone of God knows the embryo is life, and anyone ignorant of God sees it scientifically.  What is it going to take to turn the heads of the government?  By numbers (protesting) or opening their eyes to the reality of God?  How are we going to help them to receive Christ?  If they don’t believe or understand Christ, is yelling at them and showing them photos of aborted fetuses, saying “look you fool, this is life, God says so!”  Is that going to turn their heads?   As Christians, is it Christian-like to turn their heads by numbers or by faith in God’s mighty power? Didn’t the Lord lessen the number in Gideon’s army to show how they just had to depend on His strength, not numbers? (1986)

 How are we, as Christians, making use of our advantage of His supernatural power within us in this issue?  A non-Christian can do everything we can do in this battle except have the advantage of God’s power.  They can gather in numbers, they can say what they believe in the name of science in defending the unborn.

What is the issue?  The question is “Is it life or just tissue?”  If it is life, it is murder, therefore, illegal.  If it is “tissue” it is o.k., and that is that.  So it is really a question of faith.  I only believe it is life because of my faith in God, those who don’t believe obviously don’t know God.  How will we ever convince them to believe it is life?  Only by faith in God.  Everyone knows how a baby is biologically formed in a womb, so what do we have to prove to them?  When it is considered life, at what stage it is considered life?  We know it is at the moment of conception, by faith we know.  They are judging by sight, when it “looks” fully developed, or yet, when it “responds” to touch.  Once that issue is cleared, there is another one.  Actually, it will never be clear in their biological eyes, the question for them is, “what is life?”  Their values are different from ours.  What they value as a “normal” human only has the right or is worthy to live, thinking otherwise (handicapped, etc.) they will suffer and serve no purpose in this world.  They value things by sight.

Yet since a believer in God has faith, they value by seeing within, they can go a step further on this issue by saying “it is life, therefore, since it cannot defend itself, we will do the defending for it.”  Meanwhile, the non-believers are still determining whether it is life to defend in the first place.

When does life begin for believers?  Doesn’t true life begin after we are physically born and then become born of the spirit?  So really, we are protesting that they are not even given a chance to be born physically to decide if it wants to be born into true life spiritually.  Aren’t we being hypocrites by spiritually aborting children of God?  How are we convincing these non-believers that it is life?  By sight?  Are we trying to prove to them it is biologically alive by their blind understanding by showing photos, or are we trying to convince them by the spirit of God?   By what method?  In what attitude?  How does God lead people to repent?  Isn’t it through His kindness that leads us to repent?  How do we expect a person to believe it is life if they don’t know God, and how do you expect a person to know God unless He opens their eyes?

Does the world legalize abortion, knowing it is wrong, as a mask to cover up their failure to solve the problem of unwanted pregnancy?  Because they are worldly, do they see themselves responsible to solve the world’s problems?   Do they legalize abortion as an easy solution, washing their hands of it and leaving it for the mother to decide?

11-10-89

Showing photos of aborted fetuses is exposing the naked truth, the fact, the reality of what people, until they saw these revelations, were not sure of – because it remains unseen in the womb, leaving room for uncertainty.  It’s a sensitive and harsh truth to be confronted with when you see what ignorance and denial has led to.

But so is the truth of your spiritual state.  People can’t see it but they are slaves to Satan, participating in acts far more gruesome than the photo of an aborted fetus.  Yet how does God choose to reveal this truth to them in scriptures?  Does He draw the curtain to reveal the sight of hell or does He reveal His love to show you yourself (in your fallen nature) that you may respond and desire to change?  Does He teach Christianity as an escape from hell or a desire to know God?

11-29-89

I went through with my sin, knowing it was displeasing to God.  Yet I also believed He was a merciful God, very merciful.  Due to my spiritual blindness, it was my belief that He existed in heaven, doing His business while we were down here on earth expected to live life the best we can in our own strength.   The crisis in my life, according to my understanding of life, led me to do something (have an abortion) displeasing in His sight, yet unavoidable.  I had no strength or power on my own to accept responsibility for the consequence (becoming pregnant) of my sin (pre-marital sex), so I believed He understood that and forgave me. 

Yet the whole incident caused me to search for a deeper meaning to life.  There had to be more to life, a better way than what my life led to, which was disrespect for life.  If I had disrespect for life, Lord, why would I care so much for a better way?  It claimed the life of an innocent child.  That does not mean I did not respect it.  I just could not accept the responsibility of the burden; I was not strong enough to let Godly reasoning keep the pregnancy.  The worldly judgment “single mother” etc., overwhelmed me.

12-2-89

When Jesus came, He did not say “look how unjust and lawless Herod is (slaying babies, etc.), we must raise a King to dethrone him, and replace him with a Godly man.”  The Lord Jesus came to reign forever in the hearts of man despite who was on the earthly throne.

1-6-90

When God prescribed the punishment to the children of Israel and the stranger who dwells in Israel who sacrificed their children to Molech worship, God is talking to the Israelite’s and warns them of being punished like the Pagans who practice this.  He calls them to be separate from them, to be His holy people.  He does not tell them to tell the Pagans they need to be holy like them, and to stop doing it (Lev. 20:2-5).  

When the Lord told Peter to put away his weapon, He did not ask the enemy to put away theirs. (Matt. 26:52).

God’s people – the midwives who feared Him, could not kill the babies, and were honored for doing so.  So Pharaoh commanded his own (Godless) people to kill the babies, and they saw no fear in doing so (Exod. 1:15-22).